it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
