her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
