She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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