Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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