So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
