You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Randomize
