I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
