Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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