she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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