There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
