He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
