I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
