john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
