This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
