Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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