Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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