Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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