I got chris browned last night
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
