'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
