I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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