exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
