either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
