I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
