My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
