it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
