D3 body, D1 cock
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
