She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't deserve a penis
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
