How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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