i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
