New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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