my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
