its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
