i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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