shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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