69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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