i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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