don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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