im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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