He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
