Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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