I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
