We named our party play list daddy issues
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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