There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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