Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
