He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
