Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's blow job season.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
