He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
