When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just gift wrapped bread.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
