i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
