I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just invented taco cereal.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
