Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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