I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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