She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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