White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
