Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
