just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
