Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
