dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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