god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
