so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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