When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
