Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
