I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize