Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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