She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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