Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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